


Itachi's Problem

by JKirin



Series: Damn Elevator [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Big Brother Uchiha Itachi, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Just Brothers Being Brothers, M/M, No Incest, No beta we die like babes, Ridiculous, Romance, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26296030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKirin/pseuds/JKirin
Summary: Uchiha Itachi's duty as an elder brother is to ensure his little brother's success in life- his love life. He attempts to arrange a meeting between Sasuke and Naruto without making it look like his doing. That should be easy, no?(Related to Damn Elevator. Chronologically takes place after the Christmas soirée mentioned in ch5 but prior to the events of the main story)
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Damn Elevator [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1882597
Comments: 24
Kudos: 68





	1. Chapter 1

Somewhere in an old but still magnificent mansion, in the office that used to belong to his father, Itachi Uchiha sat in a comfy armchair with an almost empty glass of whiskey, stared into empty space and finally admitted to himself – he had a little problem. To be more precise, a little _love_ problem. To be even more precise and honest, his little _brother's_ love problem.

After seeing Sasuke being so smitten with a blond boy from the Konoha Observatory's Christmas soirée, but then getting continuously overworked and distracted by responsibilities of being the Head of Uchiha Empire, Itachi felt— _bad._ Not awful, but bad. Well, it's not like it was completely his fault for selfishly deciding to go into politics against his father's wishes, declining the position, and effectively passing the business down to a recent graduate, which was his brother at the time, right? Oh wait—it kinda was... So, _yeah_ —he did feel awful.

Being a good elder brother he had to do something to remediate the situation. Unfortunately for him Sasuke was a stubborn soul and wouldn't agree to take time off of work to go on something silly like a _date,_ even if it was with a soulmate, even if you put the blond right in the middle of his office with a red bow on top. Which Itachi could easily arrange, of course—what better use could his connections have? But no—if he were to do that, his foolish otouto would misunderstand the gesture and think it was some sort of convoluted plan to trick him into debt.

As such, Itachi had to come up with an even more convoluted plan to get the two together without making it look like his doing. That should be easy, no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I can't give up this universe just yet :) just trying to shed light on some behind the scenes but still important characters from the Damn Elevator


	2. Chapter 2

The door to his office flew open so hard it most definitely left a dent on the near wall, revealing a fuming face of his dear otouto. To the side, a rare Edo period vase violently shook threatening to fall down from its pedestal. Itachi breathed out in relief when it remained in its place—two hundred million yen were safe for now.

"Aniki—" said Sasuke coming in, voice almost at a snarl "Why is Uchiha Headquarters being relocated to Marunouchi?"

"I always wanted to move it there" said Itachi and shrugged his shoulders. What other reason could there be? Well, _that_ and a certain blond boy working in the same district, and also the same building, where he moved the new offices to. But his otouto didn't need to know the details, did he?

"And? You gave up any say in the Uchiha business, you remember?"

How cute was that of him to think so? A little smile crossed his face as Itachi came up with yet another reason: " _You_ always wanted to move it there"

"I don't remember anything of the sort"

"Yes-yes, you were sitting with the father right on this chair and talked big plans about offices all over the district that never sleeps"

"How old was I?"

"About four?"

"Itachi! It doesn't make any financial sense to have it there!"

"Now, why the anger?" He tried sounding hurt and, in a way, he was "I only wanted to fulfil you dream. You were so cute back then. Not like right now..." Amused by Sasuke's emotions showing so obviously in his eyes, Itachi pushed further "But if you're so upset by it, shall I just move it back?"

"Of course not!" Sasuke almost screamed, "It will be even more expensive to get out of that lease you signed! Go play your politics and don't step foot into the office anymore!"

His brother was out of the room next second slamming the door again, and Itachi allowed a laugh slip out, but then, to his dismay, the vase fell down. What a pity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edo period is 17-19 century Japan  
> Marunouchi is a business/financial district in the heart of Tokyo
> 
> I am going to post a few more soon! Love the doting big brother Itachi <3 by the end of this mini series you will find out how and more importantly if he was the one that set Sasuke and Naruto up ;)


	3. Chapter 3

Grand dining room felt even emptier today, with only gentle clutter of their cutlery piercing the silence. Wagyu beef steak on the plate didn't arouse his appetite at all and he breathed out a slow and wistful sigh.

It's been a month now and still, there was no progress in his otouto's love life. Itachi could always pride himself at being patient, but even he was full of hope that by today, he would be introduced already to his brother's little boyfriend. But, really, there was no boyfriend _yet,_ because the fools just wouldn't meet! The two were working in one building, used the same elevators every day, and still they didn't run into each other even once? How was it possible?

Frowning and pushing forward his bottom lip in petulant annoyance, Itachi moved his plate away and looked his brother square in the eyes.

"I want you to move out"

"Say what?" asked Sasuke, fighting for breath as little piece of meat went not the way it was supposed to.

"Well, you're old enough now, should have your own place"

"What's gotten into you?"

Itachi seemed to be indifferently sipping wine, but inside he was very much appreciative of the obvious confusion on Sasuke's face. It was the time for back up plans to bring a certain blond boy into his brother's life.

"Your constant nagging that commute from our estate takes long"

"Whose fault is that?!" the younger fumed, again. How easily riled up he was, foolish otouto. "You moved the office all the way across the city!"

"I found a place" continued he simply, ignoring shameless accusations. "It's just about 15 to 30 min drive, a penthouse: grand windows, open concept, you'll like it there"

It did make sense, he new it well enough, or otherwise he wouldn't have personally bought the building. Just last week. No-no, it was a very good investment, because of the location, obviously. The little blond living in there was simply a delightful bonus. But Sasuke didn't seem to fully recognize the whole idea, but that's okay— Itachi had another card to play.

"It has a pool" he smiled inside at sudden interest in his brother's eyes "You could be training every morning. You do miss swimming, don't you?"

"How big's the pool?" still doubting....what a hassle

"Olympic size"

"I'll take a look"

Deal sealed. Wagyu beef looked mouth-watering again and Itachi dived in, trying to stop the lips spreading in happy grin. Now all that's left was to upgrade the little puddle in the building to a brand new world-grade pool. A piece of cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, that's how Sasuke ended up in the same apartment building as Naruto ;)  
> I am not sure what exactly rich people eat, but Wagyu beef is literally the most expensive steak in the world, so—probably that))


	4. Chapter 4

Itachi was a patient man. He knew that some things took time and needed to be approached wisely, without rushing. They needed careful nurturing, the kind that their mother showed when his little brother threw tantrums at the gentle age of five. This simple knowledge helped him in business and in politics without fail. So, _no_ _—_ that long deep release of air from his lungs wasn't a sign of impatience, or annoyance. It just couldn't be.

"The sun hasn't even come up yet and you want me to do what now?" Sasuke's voice on the other end of the line was tainted with disbelieving venom that Itachi chose to ignore. So what if it was half pas four in the morning? He was a business man - should know that some things mattered more than sleep.

"I want you to go down to the lobby and pick up a package that I sent for you" repeated he, slowly this time, hoping that from the second try his little brother would get it.

"Why" Was it that difficult to just try and do as asked for once?

"It's important that you go right now or the courier will leave" it took a great deal of his willpower to level the voice and Itachi had to massage both temples with a free hand.

Weeks... it's been weeks since Sasuke moved out of their mansion into the same apartment complex as the pretty scientist and _still_ the idiots haven't met. Not once. It took him a while to figure out the blond's schedule _—_ which was a nightmare that no one should ever be subjected to _—_ and he needed to act fast. If only his brother would just _hurry up_.

"I don't know why I am doing this" Finally! Itachi let out another breath at a small win and the background sounds of his brother getting dressed and leaving the apartment.

As soon as Sasuke went in an elevator their connection broke, but he was okay with that. Before him was a live feed from several security cameras which gave him a good view of everything that was happening: his little brother was halfway down when the blond head appeared in the doorway, returning from the long night at the Konoha Observatory. Right on schedule. He was such a hardworking boy that Itachi already took a liking to. In a matter of seconds, the two would finally set eyes on each other again, and, for sure, sparks will fly. His mother would be so proud of him for taking such good care of his dear otouto.

Unfortunately, luck wasn't on his side again today. Sasuke's elevator stopped and Itachi's eyes went wide. _Oh no_. An old man with at least five cats _—_ or were those tiny dogs? _—_ went in, painfully slowly, occupying most of the space and pushing his little brother to the furthest corner. This delay, though small, had severe consequences and elder Uchiha watched in horror as the young scientist walked through the lobby and went inside another elevator. Only a moment later his phone rang again.

"You were too late, otouto" said he simply and hang up, letting his forehead meet the desk with a thud.

Itachi was a patient man, but even he had limits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Itachi needs a hug after this))   
> Please tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

A temporary lack of success didn't necessarily mean failure. It certainly didn't mean that Itachi had to cease making an effort to arrange a meeting between his little brother and an adorable scientist. Sure, at times he felt discouraged, but the memory of the two dancing all night at the last year's Christmas party was all it took to bring his spirits up enough for another attempt.

With renewed determination and head held high, the elder Uchiha walked through the floor towards the office currently occupied by his brother. Around the man, the staff either stood still in awe of his austere grandeur or frantically tried to stop him from progressing further—at Sasuke's foolish order, no doubt. A mere wink was all it took to turn these silly beings into puddles of pathetic goo. He was already reaching out to the knob when suddenly a woman forced her way between him and the door.

"You must not go in there" How interesting. He's never seen her in the offices before, for sure Itachi remembered everyone— Well, no, not really, he only paid attention to the ones that could be used in many wicked plans he harboured. Still, he was quite certain that this one was very new. Dark hair held high into a tight and perfect bun, face small and mouth thin in brave unwavering determination, her eyes concealed by small dark glasses.

"My brother's waiting" insisted he.

"No sir, he's not. I have his schedule" was a curt reply, without stutter – this was also new.

"Well then, please add me there now" he winked at her with just the perfect angle that everybody seemed to be affected by the most. The woman didn't budge. He gave a little smile, the one that made reforms in this prefecture happen or sent incompetent ministers flying to the door. Still nothing.

"Mr. Uchiha's orders were quite clear, I can't just move—"

"You're blind" it finally clicked.

"I'm visually impaired, yes" her tone was cold, but he could work with that. With one smooth movement Itachi leaned closer and blew imaginary hair from her ear.

"If I have known that brother hired such loyal—" voice warm like honey and lowered to a pleasant purr, "—and beautiful assistant, I would have come by earlier" and just like that another puddle on the floor. Pleased with himself, the elder Uchiha walked into the office just to hear:

"Damn Itachi, what did you do to my assistant?"

"The usual" he shrugged at Sasuke and landed on the couch. "A blind assistant. That was quite clever, otouto"

"Visually impaired and I didn't hire her for you to toy with. She is very capable"

"Whatever. Come and eat lunch with me" Itachi decided to be straight and to the point, not wanting to delay his plan for longer than was necessary.

"I don't have time for this" his stubborn little brother groaned. "Moreover, I brought lunch. I cook myself, remember?" Of course, an athlete in the past, Sasuke was always so obsessed with healthy eating.

"Yes-yes, I miss your cooking"

"You never _had_ my cooking, aniki. You always hired cooks for that"

"I'll have you know that it's my duty as a citizen and man of wealth to contribute to the economy. Which is exactly why you have to go with me for lunch right now"

"You simply love when others fuss around you" Sasuke snorted with amusement, picking up his wallet and heading for the door.

"Agree" admitted Itachi, contented at the win, and followed Sasuke through the door "So there is this place around the corner—"

* * *

"I am surprised. This place is actually quite good" his brother praised the Rasengan Cafe that they just left, and Itachi responded with agreement. The food was comforting, the ambiance was very pleasant. And even though today's plan miserably failed again—they didn't get to meet the very much evasive blond that was supposed to be waiting tables—Itachi didn't feel that bad. He very much enjoyed the company of his dear brother and this would be enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is how Uchiha brothers became regulars at Iruka's cafe!
> 
> By the way, I am almost done with the Itachi's arc! Then, I will post a couple more of Kiba & Gaara & Neji moments into "The Great Inuzuka-Sabaku War" and wrap this whole universe up))


	6. Chapter 6

Fate – the development of events beyond a person's control as determined by some sort of power.

_Fate._

It was practically Itachi's middle name!

With the power and wealth bestowed upon his family at the dawn of time, he could alter events in almost anybody's life and rarely needed assistance in doing so. However, sometimes, help was required and Itachi wasn't above asking for it in those rare and extremely unique circumstances. Which this one seemed to be, as annoying as it was.

Almost a full year has passed since the fateful Christmas soiree – a year full of suffering through unsuccessful attempts to arrange a meeting between Sasuke and Naruto. After a thorough qualitative and quantitative analysis of his methods, Itachi could come up with only one possible explanation of such consistent lack of success – deficiency in relative perspective. Perhaps, he was too close to his little brother and focused mostly on him, when he should have paid a bit more attention to the other man in this intricate equation. As such, to help achieve his goal, Itachi needed a fresh set of eyes and brilliant mind to match his own – all that and a unique insight—or, rather, access—to the scientist. There was only a handful that could fit this description.

First, there was Nara – a prodigy known through the whole university and, probably, beyond. Instead of conquering the world with his unfathomable perception and native wit, he decided to dedicate his life to Konoha Observatory. As a mechanic. While certainly possessing unique access to the scientist of interest, he lacked the drive Itachi required for the operation. So, he wouldn't do.

Then, there was Hyuuga - a valuable member of the great Hyuuga family that owned one of the largest law firms in Japan. His genius was famous and without a doubt, Uchiha could benefit from Neji's perspective. He also was quite close but not too close to Naruto, as both worked through the nights in their respective labs. However, Itachi's recent intel showed hostility between the scientists - the cause unknown, but it could pose a threat, potentially, or, at the very least, a biased opinion that could be just as harmful to his plans. As such, he wouldn't do either.

There were also, surprisingly, old high school classmates of Itachi's within Naruto's circle—Hidan and Deidara—but they weren't as closely positioned as he needed his contact to be. Plus, back in school, Hidan's intellectual abilities left much to be desired and Itachi had very valid doubts that this has changed.

There was one other person, who was in a position much less obvious but close enough, which was an opportunity too good to pass. For sure, that was it.

Itachi let a lazy smile out as he dialled a number.

"I have a rather curious business proposition. Would you join me for a meal tonight?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Before I post another chapter, leave a comment if you guessed just who exactly Itachi decided to give a call! All clues are in the main story, of course :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains major spoilers of the main story "Damn Elevator!" and if you haven't read it yet but like being surprised by plot twists, stop right here and go back. If you are reading the series in sequence or simply don't care, please proceed! I am so excited to share this with you!

"I must say, I was intrigued to receive a call from you, Uchiha" said a strikingly looking redhead right from the entrance. Itachi smiled in welcome and dismissed his butler, then gestured for the guest to come in further into the house.

Gaara Sabaku was from a known Suna family, with a history as old and infamous as his own. The young graduate has shown great brilliance in studies and first months of employment with the biggest law firm in the country. If Itachi's intel was right (and it always was, of course) the man possessed great intellectual maturity for his age with just the right creative angle that was missing in his plans. He could not wait to see just what exactly their minds combined could achieve.

"My utmost pleasure to have you here. Oh, and Itachi is just fine" He was in high spirits after their earlier conversation over the phone – the evening ahead looked promising.

"No, thank you. We're not that close" Promising indeed. Inwardly amused, Itachi just nodded – if that wasn't a challenge, he didn't know what was.

"Why don't we discuss this over dinner?"

* * *

As the evening progressed, Uchiha was more and more charmed by the other man. Gaara listened intently, without interruptions and asked questions only when Itachi intentionally left out some pieces of information. It was a sign of a great mind at work – identifying and filling in the blanks and looking for weaknesses, masterfully so.

"And you couldn't just, I don't know, set a blind date?" Gaara inquired, as they walked through the house "or tell your brother that you found the man he was so smitten with?"

"What fun would that be?"

They entered the room adjacent to his study and Itachi watched as Gaara's small eyebrow rose at the sight of desks, more desks, and boards – all filled with satellite images, photographs, maps, and more data overlaid maps.

"All of this just to get your little brother laid?"

It was the first comment from the redhead for the whole evening that Itachi didn't quite appreciate and he made a quick (and wise) decision to postpone introducing the fifteen man 24/7 surveillance team currently occupying his basement. Instead he simply said "It's not all _that_ extreme" in his defence, trying to not let the hurt show on his face. The man had siblings also and should know the lengths one was willing to go for family. Thankfully, his guest did not provide any further comments on the subject.

With curiosity, Itachi watched the redhead walk between the desks carrying a thoughtful expression and a mild crinkle between brows. It always fascinated him seeing people deep in their thoughts – it was why he was such an avid sponsor of intellectual workers in the scientific community and also of shogi players. When green eyes met his again, Itachi was pinned to the spot, startled. They weren't looking at him, but _through_ him. While face remained beautifully blank, the eyes sparkled with brilliance—calculating, manipulating pieces of information, planning several steps ahead—they were _magnificent._

"Alles hat seine Zeit," heard he and released the breath that unbeknownst to him was being held hostage in suddenly tight chest of his.

"What?"

"Everything has it's own time" translated Gaara, though it wasn't that Itachi couldn't speak German, but the fact that the redhead _could_ was the striking blow that left him speechless. Taking a deep breath in with eyes closed, Uchiha gathered his wits and temporarily broke the spell the redhead cast on him, requesting to elaborate on the statement.

"You've laid the groundwork by creating opportunities for a chance encounter." Gaara proceeded, pointing on the main map of their prefecture. "But you can't control chances. Not when statistics is not on your side. _Time_ , though, is a different story. They frequent the same places, but at very different times. You need the time to be on your side, so that their schedules get closer and closer, with out them noticing." This was a very interesting idea that Itachi immediately took a liking to as he walked closer to the man, who still continued talking, and took another look at the map "You need to grab full control over something simple, something close to them that could manipulate their schedule. You need—"

This time, when their eyes met Itachi allowed a small smile out and saw the other man do the same.

"—elevators," said both in perfect unison.

* * *

Somewhere in an old but still magnificent mansion, from a window in the office that used to belong to his father, Itachi Uchiha caught a glimpse of the brilliant redhead lawyer getting inside a cab, stared after it as it drove away and finally admitted to himself—he had a problem. To be more precise, a _love_ problem. To be even more precise and honest, his _own_ love problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's revealed! The masterplan behind the "Damn Elevator" and the two masterminds that have been there since the very beginning :) I don't believe in evil elevators but I do believe in cunning manipulative elder siblings that love you to death and would be crazy enough to hack elevators, if it meant your chance at happiness, lol. We need more of them in our world!
> 
> Congratulations to [Horizon_moon_eclipse ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Horizon_moon_eclipse/pseuds/Horizon_moon_eclipse) for being absolutely right in guessing that it was Gaara!
> 
> P.S.: There is one more Christmas special coming, featuring my beloved Gaara!


End file.
